Both are possible. In fact, you can be be protective and overbearing at the same time. It certainly seems overbearing to hire someone to spy on your son while he's at college, for instance, but maybe Polonius's fears for him are genuine. He's certainly very rigid on the subject of Ophelia's relationship with Hamlet; it's easy to argue that she's old enough that having her father forbid her a relationship seems a bit much. But he is, in his way, looking out for her, and really, he turns out to be right: Hamlet is ultimately very bad for her indeed.
In fact, it's also possible to argue that Polonius isn't terribly protective of his children at all: he doesn't seem to care if Laertes's reputation is ruined with reports of his visits to prostitutes and he allows Hamlet to abuse Ophelia terribly and doesn't intervene; he's more interested in what information she can get from him. Polonius is a complicated, contradictory parent.
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